i am such as screw up today. gah. first block i had music theory and there was a test.. i was prepared for it. but the moment i received the paper, my nose started to bleed!.. what??! and i spent oh probably 10 minutes, like it matters anyway, in the bathroom trying to stop the blood from flowing. wasnt so bad except that im worried that the blood clot might crack open since i pretty dry right now.
next screw up. test in precalc in the following block. which wasnt too bad until now, an hour after i've passed in my test, i just realize that my answer, 49.... degrees, for the first qns about OBTUSE angles.. is definetely wrong.
and now im in my third block class.. study hall sitting.. damn. stupid girl.. arghh.. why??!! dammit. why. almost could have another hundred. now i might not get an a in precalc.. WHY??? damn it damnit damnit damnit damni DAMMIT!. grr.. #@!$@#!%&~ agh... i need to my english essays now.
cheerio!
/Hopped! 10:38 AM
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if i could take you away / Thursday, March 20, 2008
And everybody's talking how I, can't, can't be your love But I want, want, want to be your love Want to be your love, for real Everybody's talking how I, can't, can't be your love But I want, want, want to be your love Want to be your love for real
i need to get my mind off of infatuations.. like daniel henney! (:
/Hopped! 6:55 PM
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yeah. / Wednesday, March 12, 2008
err. band was tiring. coffee crash i suppose. jazzband is pretty terrible this year. jazz districts was snowed out too many times and jazzii cant even play at states. -__- at least theres jazzapalooza! and no plaid shirts.. thank god. literally.
so that idiot has finally joined facebook and well.. yeah. i dont even know. its like i really want to talk to him, but i know i shouldnt.. or i dont know. maybe i havent gotten over him afterall. he's just lingering, hiding, blocked by all the band music, Abraham Lincoln's speeches, velocity and inequality equations.. yeap, english memoir essay. well, now i suppose its blocked by the Great Depression.
.. but i want talk to him! gah. i need to shoot myself in the head. [i must have a million bullets in my brain now]
and he feeds my homesickness.. which i actually love.. because it just brings back good memories of calling random people uncles and aunties just to be polite. oh and popiah again and xiao long baos and chee chong fun and rojak and loh mee, meepok, meegorang, laksa, ipoh hor fun, roti prata, kaya toast.. and yesterday's silly little language honor society induction just made it grow.. those darn baguettes.. gong gong.
alrighty then. i am going to continue with the Great Depression now. cheerio!
/Hopped! 6:12 PM
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sos / Saturday, March 08, 2008
Oohh This is an S.O.S. Don't wanna second guess, This is the bottom line It's true I gave my all for you, Now my heart's in two And I can't find the other half It's like I'm walking on broken glass, Better believe I bled It's a call I'll never get
i'm lying in bed. and my thoughts start running and i start talking to myself, imagining that i'm talking to other people. and before you know it, an hour has passed by. it's one in the morning and i have to get up at four. SCREWED.
i can't remember what i was thinking about last night. ugh. i spent 2 hours just talking to myself about stuff i really cared about and now i cant even remember what they are..
anyway, i've decided that i'm not going to think about silly love dreams. because i have a much bigger desire to go to johns hopkins. oh.. i want it SO BAD. SUPER BAAHD! and unfortunately i'm not much of a genius and cant balance a love life and studies at the same time.. so sorry love fantasy.. not like anyone here would know how to fulfill you anyway.
agh.. its bugging me.. what was i thinking about last night? oh yeah!.. here was one short thought. i was thinking about the student exchange program and do you know how great it would be if melissa jie is one next year! it would so amazingly great! i'd be over the moon happy! i can just imagine us doing everything together! and i'd force her to do tennis with me! well not force but just persuade her a lot alot! you know how if you spend too much time with someone, you get sick of them.. but you see, with my jie and i, its not like that at all. we're dying to just do things together. and we'd never be sick of each other. its family. can't be sick of your family.
well, yeah you can, but still.. she's my family. oh i wish that dream would come true..
oh and now i remember what it was i truly thinking about for more than an hour. the way i feel about the world. i realized that it doesnt appear as i feel it to be. it's disappointing. well when i graduate and go to.. john hopkins... i dont care, i am getting in there no matter what. anyway, when i get in, i'm expecting my life to feel really good and well i guess you could describe it as smooth jazzy feeling and then last night i thought.. but what if i end up being disappointed? like, instead of giving a jazzy feeling, any jazz, it gives me something that lets me down.. like, monotoned, or non-syncopated, non-rhythmed feeling. you know what i mean?
that exact point of why i wish life was a musical. because i could, burst into spontaneous song and dance anytime i wanted! and i'd always be in tune because it would be so musical-esque!
i love jazz and the feeling it gives me is just so good. so obviously i want my life to feel jazzy. and well, right now.. doesnt really feel like it. ugh. stupid school.. all those druggies. not jazzy man. not jazzy.
cheerio!
/Hopped! 5:36 AM
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strum / Monday, March 03, 2008
And we both go down together We'd stay there forever Just try to get up And I'm sorry this wasn't easy when I asked you Believe me And never let go
hmm.. i'm tired and dont really feel like blogging i must say. yeah. i'm thinking about that idiot again..
theory tomorrow.. woot! oh crap...i didnt even practice my saxophone today. anyway.. i'm in a lovey dovey mood right now just so you know. and well there's not much to say. nothing's ever going to happen i suppose. *ahem*
oh and now we have multi impossible french projects to complete on the freakin little prince that dies in end.. just like childhood huh.
