what makes a good leader? / Thursday, September 22, 2011
i always hate being ask this question during "training" events, like for the RA training and the alana orgs training. cuz it's such a repeated qns and there are so many things that make up a good leader. from balancing time, planning well to building relations. the thing that i'm struggling with wanting to be that good leader is on the relations aspect. because i realize that i can be picky with what kinds are personalities i enjoy spending time with, but as a leader, as an RA, as a member of AASU's eboard, i want to sincerely welcome the people i network with.
i finally realize what it means when people express themselves differently around different groups of friends, like you have your close friends, school friends, colleagues and so on. because the earliest reflection that i have on this thought was from youth group, my junior/senior year of high school. we talked about how we treat different groups of friends differently, cuz we relate to them in different manners and have different levels of bonding. but i didn't really get it because i treated my church friends in the same way i treated my school friends and i didnt have a job to think about how i related to colleagues.
even after getting my first job in the lab, i didn't think about my relations with people in terms of bonding levels. but now as an RA i do. because now i'm surrounded by all sorts of people and i have a duty to build a community where ever i am. and at aasu, i have the responsibility too. i've met all sorts of personalities and at times i've felt like, "if it weren't for being an RA, i don't think that i would ever spend time with this person." i know that it's a very closed mindset, but at the same time some personalities just brush you the wrong way. it's like a tug of war between my ethics and desires. perhaps i'm just being lazy in putting effort to make a friendships with the personalities i'm not used to. but it feels so hard. like writing a paper.
which reminds me. i need to write to my little cousins!
but the thing that i find unethical about my thoughts is that i sometimes feel obliged to be friends with people i would only keep as maybe aquaintances, and when i make friends, i want to be sincere about it. and obligations aren't always sincere. it also seems wrong to not give someone the chance to be friends, but what if you just can't talk to that person at all? well i haven't felt this way, but i'm just imagining myself being put in this situation.
like how do you make someone feel welcome at an event when you don't welcome them in your hearts. oh well, maybe i have been put in this situation. cuz right after bad break ups with someone, you don't want to see them, but you see them around anyway. you don't want to be rude and act cordial when you really don't want to. (yeah, i am talking about myself)
anyway, i have to study for my exam in 11 hours! >.<
aja aja fighting!
/Hopped!
3:00 AM
>>>
