what if i changed my major to physics. i don't know the most about physics, but it's an interesting subject. i wanna say i felt more focus when i studied it, but i can't say it with 100% confidence. i don't know. i mean, what the real reason why i want to major in neuroscience? because i believe it's a cool major that will make me stand out in my med school app (which now i worry that i just might not make it). because there's this coolness factor in the idea of being a neurosurgeon and even in being a missionary doctor with credentials of brain surgery. you know? i don't know how many people in this world are in need of brain surgery? i know i could do therapy work while being a missionary doctor, but i don't know.
i basically want to be a surgeon, because i like to cut things. like my hair for instance. i have this need to snip it every so often, myself, not going to a hair dresser. so it doesn't really matter to me, at heart, if i do become a brain surgeon. all that matter is that i become a surgeon. i also have this attatchment to physics. i haven't read any physics text lately, but in chem, we're studying wavelengths and i can't help but think of physics. or when i'm walking and i feel like i'm going to slip and fall, i can't help but think of the physics to prevent me from falling? you know what i mean? i don't know.
maybe i should become a physicist. but i don't want to stray away from my neuroscience major. basically, i don't want to change the status quo. but i need to. because this isn't working out. i don't know. i have some time to figure this out i guess.
ok. it's really late. almost 3 in the morning. goodnight.
